Someone said true that ‘the
saddest people are the people who work so hard to make everyone else happy
first’. It’s absolutely true for me; I hate to see other people in pain,
because I know how it feels when you are in pain. Throughout my life I worked so
hard to make other people happy that I let my own happiness to slip out from
the box. May be it’s the reason for what I’m suffering today!
I didn’t have a great childhood,
when I look back I realize that there has always been a sense of melancholy
that I have carried with me. I have a few good memories, it is those I choose
to think about to fight back the bouts of depression that attacks me now and
then. For me depression is a funny little fancy disease! I began my
struggle with it way back in my childhood, but it wasn’t until my early
twenties that it became clear to me that something is very wrong! I said it funny because in the deep inside I
am screaming loudly while outside I act with a smile in face and tell everyone
that I’m fine. I am worried that I would be bothering someone if I tell them
what’s going on my mind or what I’m feeling inside. A wired feeling of
nothingness bursts me out all the time.
It was a roller coaster ride, from feeling infatuated, to
feeling selfish, and end up everything with a feeling of sadness. This sense of
stress, depression and sadness brings me down and would always bring me to the
negative thoughts. I’m starting to feel there is something that’s been missing
in my life every day. But still life goes on….
"I have been one acquainted with the night.
I have walked out in rain—and back in rain.
I have out walked the furthest city light.
I have looked down the saddest city lane.
I have passed by the watchman on his beat
And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.
I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet
When far away an interrupted cry
Came over houses from another street,
But not to call me back or say good-bye;
And further still at an unearthly height,
One luminary clock against the sky
Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night"
~~~Robert FrostI have walked out in rain—and back in rain.
I have out walked the furthest city light.
I have looked down the saddest city lane.
I have passed by the watchman on his beat
And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.
I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet
When far away an interrupted cry
Came over houses from another street,
But not to call me back or say good-bye;
And further still at an unearthly height,
One luminary clock against the sky
Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night"
