13.07.15

I'm vulnerable.
I'm vulnerable of being lonely.
I'm vulnerable of being hurt.
I'm vulnerable of not being loved by my closed ones.

I am scared, because I fall too easily and give up so fast. I don't want to try. I don't want to try to make my days better, better from yesterday, better from last year. I don't want to compete to grab attention. I just want to be looked at and be seen as more than just someone. Some people never understand how much they make an impact in my life.  I’ve tempted to follow some people’s advice and paths to better happiness but it doesn’t seem to work on me. Meet new people, get to know them and try to connect with them in some way. But it didn’t feel right, it was like trying to force myself to forget by doing all of this through someone.

I’ve told myself this so many times that I should be alone, better myself in some way, and just let time offer the unexpected. I want to go back and fix things, try to make things better but it’s just better if I let time do its own part.